Let me start by saying that every book, article, or website about twins will inform you that there are several risk factors involved in one woman carrying two babies. It's just not right! Okay, the professionals don't say it in those exact terms, but that's the conclusion I've come to through my own experiences. Here is what my scientific research has proven:

Two Babies + One Uterus = Bad Business

Please don't misunderstand me, I couldn't be happier or feel more blessed that I'm shaving at least a year and a half off of my alloted family-planning time. And I know that these guys are destined to do something amazing because they sure did fight to get here and reserve their space for at least 8 months. But the number that they've done on my body and emotions is unbelievable. Here are a few of the fun things I've experienced so far:

Incompetent Cervix (very rude term in my opinion)- As I mentioned in the previous post, when Dr. Scary examined my cervix, I had no idea what measurement she found and even if I did, I wouldn't have had a clue what to compare it to. It wasn't until 8 weeks later that I accidentally found out from the nurse that it was at 1.9 cm compared to the 4 or more that it should have been. I also found out that the babies' amniotic sac was literally dropping into the funnel that my super short cervix had created. In other words, I was dangerously close to losing my babies and I had no idea. No pain, no leaking, no cramping, nothing. And to think that my pregnancy took this frightening turn in only two weeks!

Uterine Irritability - After the surgery, I was held in the hospital for an additional 6 days because we ran into complication #2...The Irritable Uterus. What a ridiculous medical term! Irritable? If I were a uterus minding my own business in the body of a 125 pound woman and all of a sudden I was stuffed with two human beings and all their fluid and cords and stretched beyond recognition, I think I'd be pretty damned irritated too. It just seemed like common sense to me-not a 6-day hospital and 3-month bedrest sentence. So from that point and until delivery, I am on a home monitoring system that counts how many contractions and mini-tantrums my rebellious uterus has within an hour.

Terbutaline (aka, "The Pump") - This is a device about the size of an old-school cassette walkman that releases "breaths" of medication (terbutaline) into the body. Every four days I switch the site of the needle, alternating from thigh to thigh. My upper thighs now look like someone's been using them as dart boards . And strangest thing, for all the other weeks I have had no problem injecting the needle but for the past two weeks, I have literally been having panic attacks trying to get this thing in. I don't know what's come over me! I start sweating and trying to do the whole 1...2...3...NOW! ritual and nothing seems to work. The other night, I had to go lock myself in the bathroom and give myself a pep talk like a lunatic. I almost cried! Okay, I'm lying, I did cry. But I got it in :)

Minor Complications - backache, acid reflux, carpal tunnel syndrome, host of infections, swolen hands and feet, insomnia, hip pain, inability to "get" even semi-intellectual humor. The books don't warn you about that last one but Stevie can definitely attest to this.
(sorry, babe-I promise to laugh hysterically at everything you say once these babies are born)

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