Weeks 20-22: Adjustment-
At this point I was so glad to have moved from the hospital to my own home that I breezed past these two weeks. I was so terrified with being faced with hospital bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy that I dared not even think about complaining.
Weeks 22-24: Fear-
After reading every website and pregnancy book known to man, I was pretty convinced that if I made it to 24 weeks, my babies would be fine. This is what they lead you to believe. So every day during this period I prayed and prayed to make it to that golden gestational age. That was until I watched an episode of Babies: Special Delivery in which a mother gave birth at 24 weeks. This baby was so fragile, weighed under 2 lbs, and had to undergo 2 surgeries before being released from the hospital 4 and a half months later. I knew then that the 24 week "goal" was simply unacceptable. It's not what I wanted for my babies and with that realization came the fear that I wouldn't make it as long as I needed to in order to ensure their health.
Weeks 24-27: Losing It-
I've watched every episode of Baby Story, Bringing Home Baby, Baby Baby, you name it. I've posted 8 billion questions on twinstuff.com forum. I'm huge (at least the belly), clumsy, and have lost all muscle tone in my body. I miss my old life, driving, shopping, baths, and the top floor of my home. I'm wondering if this is really happening and if it is ever going to be over. I'm praying to get to critical week 28 without going completely insane. And all the while, I'm trying to at least appear to be coping well for family and friends. I'm definitely making peace with being a family of four instead of the 5 or six Stevie and I always planned for.
Weeks 28-30: Second Wind-
I reached 28 weeks and felt as though we were really getting somewhere now. It was the sigh of relief that I so desperately needed. 30 weeks, I'm feeling really good about the babies' chances of good health and I'm ready to push on until the end.
Weeks 30-34: Reality-
This is really going to happen. I'm actually going to bring home the babies that I've been growing at home all this time. I can finally breathe (for the most part)
Today: Mixed Emotions-
As long and arduous as this road to twins has been, I am experiencing this strange feeling that I'm going to miss being pregnant! It came out of nowhere about 2 or 3 days ago. I realized that I have spent every day for the past 105 days eating, sleeping and dreaming these babies. For most of the day,it's been just the three of us in our safe little bed rest haven. I realized that in just a few days, I have to share these special gifts with the world around me and the thought of it hit me like a ton of bricks. This realization paired with the overwhelming joy and gratitude I have that we've been so blessed to make it to this point has sent me on an emotional roller coaster-complete with random, uncontrollable crying spells. These spells can be triggered by anything from hearing a certain song to seeing a bottle of baby oil. I just hope I get it all out before they get here. I don't think it's sadness, but I just feel like I want to be alone during these last few days I have to bond with them while they're still a part of me.
On a much lighter note...Braxton and Caleb are so well behaved for their age! They passed yesterday's non-stress test with flying colors. The nurse said they look great and that they were the most cooperative twins she has ever witnessed! That's my boys!
Wow girl!! I'm very happy for you and confident that all will go well next week,and thereafter. Just save up your strength!!
I came across your blog reading a comment you left on another blog I frequent. I have twins as well, I didn't experience some of the cervical issues you did but a lot of the other emotions came right back to me as I read your blog.
My comment to you is first and foremost Congratulations, God doesn't bless everyone with twins. My twins were completely unplanned and as well a complete shock...I even cried when I found out I was pregnant...(that was then)... I can't imagine my life without my babies now. You are going to have so much fun with your babies. The love you have for them now is going to just multiply a hundred fold when you actually meet them.
I wish you all the best, enjoy every single minute!!
The best is yet to come!!!!
Rachel