So, we're down to the last SEVEN DAYS! I cannot believe this. I remember very vividly when I began my countdown 20 weeks with 16 WEEKS to go. Sixteen weeks. Throughout that time I have experienced several phases of emotions. If I had to classify them, it would probably go something like this:

Weeks 20-22: Adjustment-
At this point I was so glad to have moved from the hospital to my own home that I breezed past these two weeks. I was so terrified with being faced with hospital bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy that I dared not even think about complaining.

Weeks 22-24: Fear-
After reading every website and pregnancy book known to man, I was pretty convinced that if I made it to 24 weeks, my babies would be fine. This is what they lead you to believe. So every day during this period I prayed and prayed to make it to that golden gestational age. That was until I watched an episode of Babies: Special Delivery in which a mother gave birth at 24 weeks. This baby was so fragile, weighed under 2 lbs, and had to undergo 2 surgeries before being released from the hospital 4 and a half months later. I knew then that the 24 week "goal" was simply unacceptable. It's not what I wanted for my babies and with that realization came the fear that I wouldn't make it as long as I needed to in order to ensure their health.

Weeks 24-27: Losing It-
I've watched every episode of Baby Story, Bringing Home Baby, Baby Baby, you name it. I've posted 8 billion questions on twinstuff.com forum. I'm huge (at least the belly), clumsy, and have lost all muscle tone in my body. I miss my old life, driving, shopping, baths, and the top floor of my home. I'm wondering if this is really happening and if it is ever going to be over. I'm praying to get to critical week 28 without going completely insane. And all the while, I'm trying to at least appear to be coping well for family and friends. I'm definitely making peace with being a family of four instead of the 5 or six Stevie and I always planned for.

Weeks 28-30: Second Wind-
I reached 28 weeks and felt as though we were really getting somewhere now. It was the sigh of relief that I so desperately needed. 30 weeks, I'm feeling really good about the babies' chances of good health and I'm ready to push on until the end.

Weeks 30-34: Reality-
This is really going to happen. I'm actually going to bring home the babies that I've been growing at home all this time. I can finally breathe (for the most part)

Today: Mixed Emotions-

As long and arduous as this road to twins has been, I am experiencing this strange feeling that I'm going to miss being pregnant! It came out of nowhere about 2 or 3 days ago. I realized that I have spent every day for the past 105 days eating, sleeping and dreaming these babies. For most of the day,it's been just the three of us in our safe little bed rest haven. I realized that in just a few days, I have to share these special gifts with the world around me and the thought of it hit me like a ton of bricks. This realization paired with the overwhelming joy and gratitude I have that we've been so blessed to make it to this point has sent me on an emotional roller coaster-complete with random, uncontrollable crying spells. These spells can be triggered by anything from hearing a certain song to seeing a bottle of baby oil. I just hope I get it all out before they get here. I don't think it's sadness, but I just feel like I want to be alone during these last few days I have to bond with them while they're still a part of me.

On a much lighter note...Braxton and Caleb are so well behaved for their age! They passed yesterday's non-stress test with flying colors. The nurse said they look great and that they were the most cooperative twins she has ever witnessed! That's my boys!

So...Thursday's check-up turned into a two night stay in the hospital. Dr. Scary was a bit alarmed when she found out that I hadn't been receiving Non Stress Tests which were supposed to be scheduled through my OBGyn. We'll from now on refer to her as Dr. Lazy. Dr. Scary was furious and so was I. I explained to her that I even called Dr. Lazy to ask about having them and she responded "Oh, Dr. ______ is watching you closely enough. You don't have to do them." She actually managed to make me feel bad about optimizing my own prenatal care! Who does that? Every time I consult with this office whether it be the OB or her nurse, I'm left feeling like I'm paranoid and overreacting. And maybe at times I am, but this particular time my concerns were justified.
decided she should also take my blood pressure. What I think is that I got so worked up about being cheated by Dr. Lazy (and just the joy of being right) that my blood pressure was elevated.

So to the hospital we went for a variety of tests, blood work, and urine samples. Of course after all this excitement and not being allowed to eat or drink anything until test results were in, I was dehydrated and began to contract like crazy. So, this is how I ended up trapped in the hospital. I promised them that it was just due to those particular circumstances and that if given water and rest, my body would behave but they turned a deaf ear to my plea.


So Thursday night we stayed in a nice cushy Labor and Delivery room (hardwood floors, no fluorescent lighting, no roommate). But Friday night we were told that I had to move to a semi-private room in the "projects" of the hospital...the Antepartum unit. What a miserable place. The private rooms are the size of your average kitchen and the so called semi-private rooms. Well, the "semi" translates to a semi-opaque shower curtain separating the two of you.



I did however make a new friend. No, not my vomiting silhouette of a roommate. This friend is a little pill by the name of Ambien. I've never in my life taken a sleeping pill and I don't even take Tylenol since I've been pregnant no matter how many times they assure me that it's perfectly safe. But being faced with a night without Stevie but instead with Pukasaurus Rex over there, I caved in to the pressure of my nurse pusher. I think I recall her saying something like "You want some of that good stuff?". Maybe it was my imagination. A part of me still felt a little guilty, but boy was it worth it. I made sure to get her pager number before I left in case I need another one:)



So as promised, here's the update:



Braxton and Caleb are doing fantastic and weigh a whopping 4 lbs. 11 oz. each!!! I'm so excited! I will be going even more into hiding (if that's possible) between now and the babies' birthday. I've got a lot of last minute reflecting to do on this whole experience and I kind of need to figure out how to be a mom. So please don't be offended or assume the babies are here already if you don't hear from me for a while. We will be sure to let everyone know when it happens. Keep checking the site for updates. Take care,



Larami

I finally got my hands on a computer today after breaking yet another one! I really think there should be a restraining order against me and all electronic devices (including automobiles). If it can be broken, I somehow manage to get the job done. This weekend was pretty uneventful. I did however venture downstairs to the garage while Stevie grilled our dinner. After about ten minutes of sweltering heat, I was thanking the heavens that I have an excuse to be shut in during this time. The word sauna comes to mind. I didn't make it very long but the time we did get to spend out there was still quite enjoyable.

My next appointment is on Thursday afternoon with Dr. Scary and it will be the LAST time I see her! Should I bake her something? Write her a poem? Paint a portrait of her? Or do I just give her high five and say "see ya!"? I think we'll all feel most comfortable with the last option. I can't believe our relationship is coming to an end:(

I will be sure to post babies' weights and any other pertinent information we find at Thursday's appointment. We're hoping for at least 4 and a half pounds each. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers!