Two Babies + One Uterus = Bad Business
Please don't misunderstand me, I couldn't be happier or feel more blessed that I'm shaving at least a year and a half off of my alloted family-planning time. And I know that these guys are destined to do something amazing because they sure did fight to get here and reserve their space for at least 8 months. But the number that they've done on my body and emotions is unbelievable. Here are a few of the fun things I've experienced so far:
Incompetent Cervix (very rude term in my opinion)- As I mentioned in the previous post, when Dr. Scary examined my cervix, I had no idea what measurement she found and even if I did, I wouldn't have had a clue what to compare it to. It wasn't until 8 weeks later that I accidentally found out from the nurse that it was at 1.9 cm compared to the 4 or more that it should have been. I also found out that the babies' amniotic sac was literally dropping into the funnel that my super short cervix had created. In other words, I was dangerously close to losing my babies and I had no idea. No pain, no leaking, no cramping, nothing. And to think that my pregnancy took this frightening turn in only two weeks!
Uterine Irritability - After the surgery, I was held in the hospital for an additional 6 days because we ran into complication #2...The Irritable Uterus. What a ridiculous medical term! Irritable? If I were a uterus minding my own business in the body of a 125 pound woman and all of a sudden I was stuffed with two human beings and all their fluid and cords and stretched beyond recognition, I think I'd be pretty damned irritated too. It just seemed like common sense to me-not a 6-day hospital and 3-month bedrest sentence. So from that point and until delivery, I am on a home monitoring system that counts how many contractions and mini-tantrums my rebellious uterus has within an hour.
Terbutaline (aka, "The Pump") - This is a device about the size of an old-school cassette walkman that releases "breaths" of medication (terbutaline) into the body. Every four days I switch the site of the needle, alternating from thigh to thigh. My upper thighs now look like someone's been using them as dart boards . And strangest thing, for all the other weeks I have had no problem injecting the needle but for the past two weeks, I have literally been having panic attacks trying to get this thing in. I don't know what's come over me! I start sweating and trying to do the whole 1...2...3...NOW! ritual and nothing seems to work. The other night, I had to go lock myself in the bathroom and give myself a pep talk like a lunatic. I almost cried! Okay, I'm lying, I did cry. But I got it in :)
Minor Complications - backache, acid reflux, carpal tunnel syndrome, host of infections, swolen hands and feet, insomnia, hip pain, inability to "get" even semi-intellectual humor. The books don't warn you about that last one but Stevie can definitely attest to this.
(sorry, babe-I promise to laugh hysterically at everything you say once these babies are born)
